Life At The Well

While not intending to pile on (being that I have read several posts on this subject, of late) I am moved by words from Fr. Louis' pen (as I often am) that are resonating with where I am these days. Merton writes:

"If there is one truth that people need to learn, in the world, especially today, it is this: the intellect is only theoretically independent of desire and appetite in ordinary, actual practice. It is constantly being blinded and perverted by the ends and aims of passion, and the evidence it presents to us with such a show of impartiality and objectivity is fraught with interest and propaganda. We have become marvelous at self-delusion." The Seven Storey Mountain; Thomas Merton

Or, as A shared from "Freddie" -- we hear what we expect, or want to hear. When the Word is read or spoken, we hear what we expect or want. When we 'learn' something through observation or vicariously through other's testimonies -- what we 'know' is filtered through our preconceptions, our predispositions, our experiences, our personalitites ... and in the end, we are devious in rationalizing our 'knowledge' so that it conforms to our passions and desires.

Contemplation, seems to me, to be one of the few antidotes to our self-delusion. When I perform my professional vocations (pastor, teacher, preacher), my God-given roles (husband, father, friend, son, brother) or my amateur hobbies (reading, theology, spiritual formation) there is always the possibility that what I 'learn' is merely theoretical. A particular line of reasoning becomes a means to end, rather than a tool for God to speak life and the kingdom into my world (or through me, someone else's.) It is only when I allow God to speak to me through what I am learning -- independent of what I hope to use that knowledge for -- that I actually 'learn' something of eternal value. Only then can I 'hear' and be changed.

Contemplation, for me, forces me to engage God rather than engaging material about God. And transformation happens through Him, because I am powerless to resist. Which is where I want to be -- powerless against the love of God. The alternative is delusional resistance to knowledge about God - hearing what I want to hear and changing only what I want to change.

I am truly surprised by the level of hostility and criticism that many reveal toward the mere mention of 'contemplative Christianity.' Some criticism seems to come from those who believe 'contemplating' amounts to way too much thinking. 'After all, just believe the Word, brother.' And all will be well. The other end of the spectrum seeems equally present in condemning 'contemplation -- arguing that contemplation and mysticism seek an 'experience' that is not available to believers. There is, it seems to some, only knowledge of and about God.

I prefer to know God Himself. And to be known. And to spend time dwelling in that place where Spirit engages my spirit, and I am released to see the things I think I know and have learned as they are reflected in Him. I prefer to create space that allows Him to transform my heart, rather than trying to absorb enough information so that my mind will (hopefully) be transformed. I prefer to bridge theory and practice with His grace and power, not mine. And for me ... contemplation builds that bridge and opens that door.